My Greatest Teacher - What Jayden Taught Me

He wasn't suppose to make it. That's what doctors told us from the beginning. Kari, upon learning that there was a lack of amniotic fluid during Jayden's pregnancy, was directed to get to University of Chicago so we could get the opinion of the true experts. It was those experts that told us that ending the pregnancy was the best bet, that Jayden would not survive birth, and if he did he would not survive long after. The problem was Jayden's bladder. The valve that holds urine inside the bladder until a human is ready to urinate was sealed shut, not allowing any waste to escape his body. This damaged the bladder, the kidneys, and kept his amniotic fluid dangerously low. This impacted his lungs, which were underdeveloped. Because he wasn't getting enough oxygen, his brain was impacted as well. All signs were pointed in the wrong direction. The doctors gave us our options, the recommendation was grim. Terminate the pregnancy. Kari and I decided together that these were not our decisions to make, and instead of listening to the experts we put the situation in the hands of God to handle.

On June 28, 2005 Jayden was born at The University of Chicago with a massive team of doctors and nurses ready to give him every opportunity to survive. I was in the room, and my first memory was of this tiny perfect baby arriving into our lives, perfect in every way...except one. He was blue. They delivered Jayden, placed him momentarily on Kari's chest so she could see him, then whisked him away.

Those moments were a blur, but I do remember an entire team of people taking Jayden and quickly disappearing out of the room and down the hallway. I stayed with Kari as they tended to her. They told us that they would update us, they would let us know if anything changed.

As time passed by, we were told that all attempts to support his breathing were failing, that his passing was inevitable. Nurses helped Kari from her bed into a wheelchair. It was time to take the walk to visit Jayden, we were told that it was time to say goodbye to our baby boy. I vividly remember the walk down the hallway and through the glass tube that connected our building to the building next door where Jayden was being treated. I remember seeing a nurse running towards us, I remember fearing that we were too late. The nurse rounded the corner, stopped, and then briefly explained to us that they had found the right ventilator for Jayden...he was taking in oxygen and was stabilizing long enough for us to visit with him.

He wasn't supposed to make it. Minutes turned into hours, hours turned into overnight. At each turn they prepared us for the worst, at one point even bringing in a paster to pray for Jayden and support us in saying goodbye. Jayden, however, wasn't listening to the experts. He was determined to fight, his resiliency would be a model for us all.

That model of resiliency would serve us well as we continued through the aftermath of the impact of Jayden's arrival. Kari, spending her entire time either at the hospital, at appointments, or caring for Jayden, was unable to work at all. I was unable to work my normal part time jobs, the hustles beyond my full time teacher job that brought in enough money to give us the slight cushion to keep the family safe. The combination of increased costs along with less income was like a mini atom bomb to our financial security. The bills quickly became larger than the paychecks. The mortgage was first, the company unwilling to help in any way. The house was quickly sold before an impending foreclosure. Next they came and took the car, right out of the driveway in front of the neighbors. Through all that, there he was...Jayden breathing in and out. Growing and thriving, even through the surgeries, complications, and setbacks along the way. Resilient.

When you have a teacher like Jayden you can't help but reevaluate what's truly important. You reevaluate how you look at things, how you view those around you. You reevaluate what constitutes an emergency, what is worth fighting for. You recognize that our capacity to fight is greater that you previously thought. You recognize the value of the people in our life that truly have your best interests in mind. You recognize that people have fought battles, and continue to fight battles that you have no idea about. You even see for the first time that people around you carry scars both physically and mentally, both on the outside as well as on the inside.

In this current environment, resiliency is an important trait to have for all of us. We are scared. We are given imperfect information, no true time lines about how this ends. Many are left fighting silent battles that others don't know about. Maybe it's with financial security, maybe it's with depression or anxiety. This is a the time where we must simplify, focus on what's truly important, and look out for one another.

January 1, 2017! As I look back over the blog I find myself very disappointed that I haven't done a very good job of keeping up! Hopefully that will change with the new year! I'm going to be on the look out of things to talk about, about adventures to share! The Nelson Adventure never ended, I just stopped writing about it! Even if it's for an audience of one (myself in the future) I'm going to start tracking our family adventures again!

I'm Back!!!

For some reason I get away from writing on my blog, then when I trip upon it I want to smack myself for getting away from it! So, with that said, we'll get rolling again with some serious updating! The kids are finishing up their first day of school, so what better time to start back up! I'm not the guy that gets sad about such things, but if you look back at past blogs you quickly realize that my children are going up very quickly! What's exciting to me is to imagine them growing into the people they are going to become. There is so much potential for contributions, experiences, and joy for them to enjoy! How exciting!

The Next Road Trip

Around The Lake


It's never too early to start thinking about my next trip. I'd really like to do a small trip with Kari, I know she'd enjoy it a great deal. Obviously it's a challenge with 3 young children at home, but with the help of my mom we could make it happen at some point. The first trip that we're looking at would be a trip around Lake Michigan. It's just a little under 950 miles, and I figure that it could be made into two long days or three manageable days depending on how much time we had. It would be a nice trip, I know several people (Sharon Polite, Andy Trevino) that have done the trip and they seemed to enjoy it.

I've already looked into some changes I'd like to make to my bike to make it a little more comfortable for a longer trip. This would include adding a windshield or fairing as well as some hard saddle bags that were easier to manage. If Kari comes along I'd also need some kind of rear rack to store things on behind the sissy bar. It's fun to dream about the next adventure, fun to thing of sharing it with Kari! :)

Day 4 - 320 miles home

I woke at 2am on day 4. I didn't mean to wake up that early, but I was awaken by some kind of choking fit my dad was having and realized that I couldn't fall back asleep. At 2:30am I packed my things onto the ol' Harley for the last time and began my trip home. The first couple of hours were pretty uneventful, as the roads were clear and I was by myself most of the time. I swung past Springfield, Illinois and began heading north on 55. I stopped twice along the way, once for gas and another just to get off the bike for a while.

It wasn't until I got to Joliet and onto 80/94 east that it really hit me that my trip was ending at 3.25 days rather than the 10-12 that I had planned on. It was very nice to see Kari and the kids, but I have to admit that continue to be very disappointed in how my summer vacation ended so abruptly. I'm not sure what I would have done differently if I were to do it again. I had a great time for the time that I was on the road. It was fun and challenging, just what I'd hoped for. I road in several states for the first time, visited several major cities for the first time, and was a hop, skip, and a jump away from Texas before the big surprise hit me. I'm disappointed that nothing stopped us from continuing, we stopped ourselves.

There are some positive things!

First of all, I gained some valuable experience on the road. I learned how to pack my bags on my bike effectively, and also figured out some things that I'd change about my bike before I took on another trip like this. Another great thing is that I've already got two great leads on a bike trip for next year! I have a friend that might be interested in a fun road trip next summer, and Kari and I have talked many times about she and I hitting the road either with the kids or just her and I. I am signing off, thanks to those of you that followed me on my fun yet abbreviated summer motorcycle trip.

Day Three - 571 miles - The Wrong Way!

Somehow a picture of a dead armadillo that Doug and I came across on day 2 is a fitting picture for this entry. As mentioned, day 2 was very hot and trying on our group. We finished up the evening with a trip to the Waffle House, and then relaxed with a trip to the hotel pool to relax. We decided as a group to wake up early on day 3 with hopes of getting an earlier start to avoid the hottest temperatures. When we got moving for day 3 we had a surprising decision made. Two of the group of four decided that it was too hot and too hard, and the decision was made than rather than moving on to Amarillo, Texas as planned we would instead drive up to Wichita, Kansas and effectively cutting the trip by more than half. Gone was a trip to the west coast, and instead we would travel north through Kansas before heading back into Missouri and eventually Illinois and home to Indiana. As we traveled through the flat lands of Kansas I must admit that I was in shock of what had transpired. I went from being very excited about the trip (I mean really, who blogs about a trip that they aren't excited about! :) ) to being extremely disappointed and simply wanting to go home as fast as possible. We traveled through Kansas quickly, dealing with a short rain storm along the way before heading back into Missouri. We did manage to stop in at a Harley Davidson dealership in Kansas City for some souvenirs. Once we left Kansas City we headed north for a bit then traveled east across Missouri. Once again we enjoyed the rolling hills of Missouri. Our day ended in Hannibal, Missouri, just short of the Missouri/Illinois border. I decided that I was going to travel home early on day 4.

Day Two - 288 miles

Day Two - 288 miles

I realized that I ended up averaging 48.5 miles to the gallon on day 1! Not bad! The Harley has been doing great so far, it's been a joy to ride.

Today we started in Springfield, Missouri at the hotel with a shower and a breakfast. We got on the road and soon we came across Joplin, Missouri. Some of you may remember that Joplin recently dealt with a horrible tornado and lost many lives. We didn't realize how large Joplin was until we saw that it had 5 exits on the highway we were traveling on. At one point while we were driving I looked to the right side of the road and saw several highway signs that had been mangled and destroyed in the tornado. As soon as I saw that I immediately looked to the left side of the road and there was a neighborhood that had just been drilled by the tornado. There were houses that were missing roofs, siding was ripped off of houses, backyards just in shambles. It was awful.

It wasn't long after that where we left Missouri behind and headed into Oklahoma. We stopped at a visitor's center and it was then that I realized how deeply the history of Oklahoma is intertwined with the Indian culture. It was interesting to learn that different parts of the southern states are marked as areas for different tribes. I would be driving along and would see a sign that would say, "Entering Kickapoo Tribe Territory" or something like that. There were also many casinos along the way, many ran by the different tribes that were connected to that particular area.

Missouri has a helmet law, meaning that all motorcyclists must wear helmets. Once we got into Oklahoma we took off the helmets just for a rest, I can tell you that my neck was sore for having driven so long for the two days. It was nice to feel out in the wind a little more, but later on in the day I put my helmet back on to get out of the wind for a bit. :)

If Missouri was hilly, Oklahoma started off very flat before transitioning back into a rolling hills environment. Oklahoma transitioned back and forth between hilly and flat plains that were used for cattle and crops. There was a ton of traffic between Miami and Tulsa, it was tough to drive in one lane traffic over a long distance. It wasn't much fun, and as the temperature rose it was getting worse fast! As we headed into Tulsa we got lunch and went to the Route 66 Harley Davidson dealership. Man, they have some great deals! Their prices were $2,000 - $2,500 cheaper than I'm used to seeing in Porter County! I may be flying out to Tulsa when it's time to get a new bike!

Finally we headed out of Tulsa, but the temperature had rose to over 104 degrees. Driving on the asphalt was awful, it was like you were getting hit twice, once from the sun and then again from the asphalt! We were dealing with overheating bikes and bodies, so once we got into Oklahoma City we decided it was enough for the day. We finished up with dinner and decided to call it a day. The plan is to get moving earlier tomorrow to try and drive in cooler temperatures!

Most of our miles today came along the historic Route 66 highway! It was neat to see the small towns along the way, they try to use the history of Route 66 to boost the economy along the highway.

Today I saw my first armadillo in nature! It was dead on the side of the road, but Doug pointed it out to me and it was pretty cool to see one in the real world!

Lastly, I noticed how beautiful the red clay is at construction sites in this area. I know baseball coaches kind of like that red clay on baseball fields, and here it is right next to our hotel in piles! I'll try to upload a few pictures today.

Updated Pictures

Day 1 - 532 Miles

Day 1 began as mentioned before in Portage, Indiana. We hit route 30 and took it into Illinois before heading south on 57. Driving in Illinois is very familiar; if I didn't know better I'd swear I drove down 65 in Indiana. I really thought the first day would be something to simply get through, but things changed quickly once we got into Missouri. First we drove through St. Louis, driving right past the Gateway Arch while an amazing air show was going on. Words don't do justice to seeing this live, I have no idea how many people were sitting at the base of the Arch watching the air show. It had to be in the 10,000+ range, I'll leave it at that! I have to say that driving in Missouri was a highlight that I was not counting on! Driving through the foothills of the Ozark Mountains was awesome, a slow roller coaster of a ride that gave us amazing views of miles of beautiful forests on a regular basis. We arrived at Springfield, Missouri and called it an evening. This evening an ugly cloud came in and threatened to storm, but as of now it hasn't really done anything. Hopefully tomorrow I'll blog from Texas!

I'm excited to say that I've never been this far west in my life! I know that's pretty sad, but what a way to change that in a hurry! Other than a few bumps in the road the day went smoothly and we'll be ready to move on tomorrow.

Packing it all in

So once you've been convinced or blackmailed to go on a huge adventure the next question of course is, "What do I pack?". With the plan to camp out at least once in mind, I'm now faced with the challenge of fitting my clothes, my tent, my mattress, my sleeping bag, and my clothes and other equipment on a single motorcycle. Lucky fhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifor me, I planned ahead and picked up some saddle bags and traveling bag a while back! Today, with the help of Jaecy and Kari we'll get everything packed for our trip. I made sure to pack plenty of bug spray and sun block for myself; after years of umpiring in South Haven I can say from experience that I thoroughly hate Mosquitoes and all that they are. Circle of life be darned, I'd be a happier man if mosquitoes were to suddenly decide to pack up and leave the planet. I'm still working on the best way to get my pictures uploaded onto the blog, but when I do I'll make sure to include a picture of the bike when it's fully loaded.

Pictures

There and Back Again

It started a year ago about this time of year. My brother Doug, myself, and Dad planned out a short trip down to Kentucky to enjoy the Shawneetown Rally. It didn't take long for me to get hooked. From the first days of me owning my 2009 Harley Street Bob I dreamed of going on adventures with only my motorbike and some friends. I haven't traveled much in my 35 years, and I've never been further west in the U.S. than Illinois.

With all that said, the first time I pitched the idea to Doug and Dad about a much longer trip I think they thought I'd lost it. It took some time for them to open up to the idea. Many times during the winter we'd talk about a summer trip, but mostly during tough times when we needed a moment of levity. It's only been in the last few weeks that we've really talked about it seriously, at least serious enough to sit down with an atlas to plan out some sort of route.

So now I find myself less than 24 hours away from kicking off the trip with the furthest point away from home being San Diego, California. The goal is simple; two pictures, with one being of me, my bike, and the pacific ocean and the other being of me in the pacific. The sights that we will see along the way will be amazing, the stories that result will be epic and shared for years to come. Tomorrow the trip begins at 7am, and for some reason beyond my understanding we'll be leaving from the parking lot of the Portage K-Mart.

We plan on camping out at least once during the trip, so yesterday Kari helped me pick out my tent, mattress, and odds and ends I'll need along the way.

Inspired by movies by Jesse James and Ewan Mcgregor we begin our journey. I tested my bags during my trip to Grand Rapids earlier this month, so I'm as ready as I can be I suppose. I plan on updating on a regular basis along the way both here on the blog and on Facebook. I have a 4gb memory card that I intend to fill with pictures and experiences. I hope you'll join me on my adventure,

Our day one goal will to travel from Portage, Indiana to Springfield, Misouri.

Summer Plans

The summer of 2010 is pretty intimidating when I think of all of the things we have planned. I'm really not sure how all of it's going to get done! Here's a brief version of the TO DO list:

• Going to Wisconsin Dell's with the Lady Warriors
• Working both the Porter County and Lake County Fairs (11 days a piece!)
  
• Family trip to Georgia
• Motorcycle road trip
• Basketball camps galore!
• Softball umpiring
• Kid's baseball season
• June 21-25 Calumet New Tech Training in Indianapolis, IN
  

So, here I was on a Sunday morning when it struck me that my time on Facebook book and a direct connection to the premature death of my little corner of the blogging world. Well, we Nelson's often lovingly consider ourselves too stupid to stop when it comes to the persistence side of things. That being said, it's going to be my personal mission to get my Amazing Nelson Adventure blog back up and running! There's way to many cool things that happen to us without getting a chance to share it with the friends and family that we've attached ourselves to along the way!

Whoa Baby!

Rather than trying to go on and on about how busy we've been I thought it better to get right to work. I've been a bad, bad person when it comes to updating the blog lately, so it's time to get back at it. Basketball season is now full underway and we've managed to be horrible and 3-1 all at the same time. It's a gift that I've passed along to my athletes, no doubt about it. Santa and Christmas has been the theme around the Nelson household for a while, Kari went as far to buy our first "real" Christmas tree. I'll have to get a picture of it, she did a real nice job. We have one more week of school before Christmas break, and if you ask me it isn't coming a moment too soon. :)

Jaecy's Birthday cake in November. Happy B-DAY!!

Jayden's New Fancy Wheelchair. If you look close his name is stitched on it!

Jayden in the new ride!

Jayden working with his walker aid.

Do You Hear It?

Well, can you? The wind rustles through the leaves as the weather slowly changes on us, and that sound in the distance can only be one thing. It's a sound known well by the Nelson family, especially during this time of year. As part of the season as pumpkins, costumes, and Thanksgiving dinners. That sound? That sound you hear? It's getting closer! It's getting clearer! I hear cheers! I hear squeeking! I smell.....I smell popcorn! It must be basketball season! GOOD LUCK AS THE SEASON GETS UNDER WAY!

• Good luck to the Lady Warriors of Calumet!
• Good luck to the Lady Wildcats of Hanover!
• Good luck to the Warriors of Calumet! (We're gonna need it!) :)

Hey Pumpkin!

As Halloween gets closer Kari and Jaecy picked up some pumpkins from the pumpkin patch. We all sat down around the kitchen table and went to work! The results can be seen in the picture below!

Jaecy's pumpkin with a wink and a smile!
Kari and Mav carved out the Pokemon logo!
Daddy went for the grumpy pumpkin look! (Check out the mean eyebrows!!)

I'm Hit!!!

Well, today all the kids got their flu vaccinations and updated shots. Mav and Jayden were like pincushions, they got hit all over!

It's been a while, so how about some updates?!?

• Kari is all done with Golf and is helping out a bit with Volleyball in the absence of Sue Gabbert at Calumet. Coach Gabbert is out of work and is receiving treatment for cancer. Go Sue, get better soon!
• Jaecy has a new website! I'll add it on here and on the sidebar.
• I tweaked my back last Friday but have recovered quickly and am back to feeling good!
• We picked up a copy of the movie Iron Man! It's a fun movie to watch, we all enjoy watching it.

http://msjaniceportageymca.blogspot.com/

This is the link to Jaecy's classroom at the YMCA. If you look through the pictures you can see her in action!

Monday, Monday

Well, all is back to normal after the crazy amount of rain we had two weekends ago. I am finally able to take 80/94 to work, knocking my commute back down to around 25 minutes.

Maverik and I have been introduce to a game called Spore and have been having a blast with it. Part of the game includes being able to use the computer to build 3-D models of creatures, buildings, boats, cars, planes, and space ships. It's wonderful to peak over his shoulder and see him work. He makes some wonderful creations, I'm going to see if there's any way to get some of them on the blog for all to see. Maverik and Jaecy are now working on writing their letters at home, Jaecy loves to work on it while Maverik simply puts up with me while I make him do it.

While Kari and I are far from couch potatoes we are very excited about this week because season 3 of Heroes premieres tonight and IronMan is released to DVD next week.

We're talking about role models in Health class, and for years I have exposed my students to Team Hoyt. I once saw this man on TV participating in a Triathalon and was in awe of his drive. Little did I know at the time where the real drive was coming from. As Jayden has been diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy, this video should reach out to anyone that loves him! For your enjoyment, Team Hoyt!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flRvsO8m_KI

By the way, I love the song that plays at the end of the video:

I Can Only Imagine

"I can only imagine what it will be like, when I walk by Your side...I can only imagine, what my eyes will see, when Your Face is before me!I can only imagine. I can only imagine.
Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing 'Hallelujah!'?
Will I be able to speak at all?I can only imagine! I can only imagine!
I can only imagine, when that day comes, when I find myself standing in the Son!
I can only imagine, when all I will do, is forever, forever worship You!
I can only imagine! I can only imagine!
Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing 'Hallelujah!'?
Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine! Yeah! I can only imagine!
Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing 'Hallelujah!'?
Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine! Yeah! I can only imagine!
I can only imagine! Yeah! I can only imagine!!
Only imagine!!!I can only imagine.



Jayden is becoming more and more curious...and I as I see him, see him with his brother and sister, and see his soul through his eyes....I know one thing as sure as I'm breathing air. That boy knows love, knows what it means to love and be loved. Spend 5 minutes with him, it's undeniable. It's a gift that we all need to enjoy because, as a teacher, I see that not everyone has that light in their eyes.

Noah, Where Are You?!?

The last few days were spent inside as Northwest Indiana was hosed consistently with record setting showers. Thankfully the Amazing Nelson Adventure waddled on without much change. I went to the Portage vs. Merrillville football game on Friday with Grandpa Merel, Uncle Doug, and Kale. We had a good time in the rain, and Portage figured out a way to make things much more exciting than they should have been.

As a small gift to us we were all given the day off from school while most were recovering. I'm interested to see how things are at Calumet tomorrow, as Lake County seems to have been hit hard due to rising rivers as a result of the massive rain amounts.

BEST OF THREE

Each fall I have my little ritual. We watch high school football on Friday, Notre Dame football on Saturday, and the Bears on Sunday. I've always figure if two of the three won that weekend that all was good. I've added Calumet into the mix now that I work there. Thankfully Calumet is doing well this season, that makes it fun to root for them.

Maverik and Jaecy worked on their writing a bit this evening. Both can write their name with some help, but I'd say that Jaecy really enjoys it more than Mav.

How Do I Love Thee, Dish Washer? Let Me Count The Ways

Kari and I have happily glided into the twentieth century (no, that's not an error!) with the purchase of a new dish washer! Now, we had a dishwasher while we lived in Washington Township but the well water was so bad that the dishwasher was basically useless! On Sunday I did some hunting around and ended up at Menards (You save big money....) and purchased a new portable dishwasher and outside gas grill. The dishwasher is a champ!!! Kari and I sit around looking at each other now, thinking to ourselves, "Shouldn't we be cleaning something?!?" The dishes are getting washed, and that leaves me more time to spend on my favorite new hobby.....drumroll please...... COLORING!!! I've been doing lots of coloring lately to be a good example for Mackie. Poor Mav is just plain awful right now at staying in the lines, so I'm taking it upon myself to be a good example. I've caught the bug, and I've colored Dora, Diego, Ariel, Flounder, Fairies, Hedgehogs, and lots of trees! I may have to take some pictures of these works of art, you'd get a tear in your eye as a result of the beauty of my work! (Hopefully along the way I'll get Mav convinced!)

Mav was sad last night when he went to bed, so I used Froggy and Cubby Bear (his two stuffed animals) to create a make believe Pokemon battle! He was so impressed that he returned the favor and recreated a very elaborate battle by himself! I'm sad to say that Squirtle and Cubby Bear were defeated, but I was impressed by Mav's detailed account of the battle.

Dink, Dink

Dink, Dink is the sound that you'll get now when you prompt Jayden with a bottle of his favorite drink. It's pretty quiet, but he says it whenever he's hungry and is presented with a bottle. He started it at Grandma's (I thought it was a fluke), but I've heard him say it on several occasions this week during dinner time. This is certainly a great step!

Maverik has homework every Monday that is due on Friday, and thankfully I'm still smart enough to help him with it! :) Seriously, his homework consists of letters (pick out the pictures that start with the letter A), numbers, and basic addition. He still needs some work with coloring and staying within the lines, but he's got his letters, numbers, and basic math down pat!

Jaecy has been enjoying her preschool and is doing well, she certainly looks forward to the days that she visits her class.

OTHER UPDATES:

• Kari's Golf season is wrapping up in a few weeks!
• Kari and I are preparing for another season of basketball!
• We rented Baby Mama the other day and really enjoyed it
• Maverik gets to pick out a library book to bring home and read. This week's choice was called Goodnight Moon by Margret Wise Brown.